The Base…

The President has his Base. I also have a Base. In fact, I have two Bases’. One Base is Chicken, and the other is a Beef Base.  Each Base is totally reliable, and constant in performance. The ingredients in each Base are almost identical, except for the chicken content in one Base, and beef content in the other.

All politicians have a Base. The President’s Base is notably reliable, and remarkably constant in the results. The President can comfortably use his Base and count on the success of the basic ingredients. The basic ingredients of bigotry, fear, economic need, xenophobia, intolerance, hysteria, idolatry, and ignorance. To that Base, The President mixes lies, arrogance, impulsiveness, incoherence, adolescent sexuality, and fragility. The President’s Base is quite powerful, and can be used in varied situations, and to satisfy many tastes.  Hail to the Chief, I mean Chef as we eat our way to nausea.

Tom Golden, Ph.D. writers cramp,2017

None of My Business…

Several friends at the local diner…

Harry: Yesterday, the New York Times reported about Trumps tax payments.
Peter: What did they say?
Mary Lu: I don’t read the Times, but I know they hate the President.
Harry: They investigated years of his tax returns, and he hardly paid any taxes. Almost none.
Peter: None?
Harry: In one year he paid about 750 bucks in federal taxes.
Mary Lu: Who told you so.
Frank: Those guys can’t stand Donald. No matter what he does, they make a big deal.
Mary Lu: You’re right Frank. First Mueller fake investigation, then Russian stuff, and mail ballots, and now tax bullshit.
Harry: The facts are right there to read. I’ll bring in the paper.
Peter: Maybe he didn’t pay any taxes, or just a little. So what?
Harry: Peter, do you pay your taxes?
Peter: Sure. I don’t like it, but I pay.
Harry: And Mary Lu, do you pay taxes?
Mary Lu: Of course. So how does that matter about the President?
Harry: Cause he is a tax cheating President and a tax wheeler dealer. Makes millions, and pays nothing. Makes me crazy!
Frank: Maybe he did pay almost nothing. Maybe he did it legal.
Mary Lu: Yeh, maybe he’s just smarter than you.
Harry: And maybe he is a crook.
Mary Lu: All the guys with money cut on their taxes. Big deal. Everybody knows that.
Harry: Don’t you care?
Frank: I don’t give a damn. If he and his accountants found a way to not pay, fine with me.
Mary Lu: Trump got his ways, and I got mine. His taxes are none of my business.
Frank: Harry, stay loose. You worry too much. Let’s eat.

Fini

Tom Golden, 2020

No More Questions…


At a meeting of the White House press corps, the participants were to discuss a new way of engaging the President during his news conferences. The Washington Post reporter had sent a proposal to all participants, so they were familiar with the plan.

N.Y.Times: Folks, I don’t think my Editor’s would approve of this plan.
Cable News: Yeh. I am certain, my boss would say forget it.
BBC Reporter: I was curious at first, and then I became enthused by the possibility.
Jewish Post: As I understand the proposal, when the President asks us for any questions, we will not offer any question, or any comment. Is that the case?
Washington Post: Simply put – that’s it. The President turns to us, and asks if we have any questions. We just sit, mum. You can look at the President, but not a comment. Not a word.
CNN: What do I do when he asks me a direct question.
Washington Post: Mary, the likelihood that he will ask you anything is zero.
CNN: You’re probably right. Well what does one do when asked a direct comment or question by the President.
BBC: You do nothing. Just stare back with an expression that indicates you heard the man. But you say nothing.
LosAngeles Times: Even he will get the idea. What if he says, I quess you people, you fake people have nothing to say. Is that it? No questions? No comments?
Boston Globe: Mum. We do not respond to the President no matter what he says. If he does his rude thing, we say, nor do nothing.
New York Times: Look. For months when you ask a question, he either lies, or avoids an answer, goes into a song and dance, or dumps on you. I have had it!
Fox News: This idea is gonna get you fired. No way is your boss gonna accept this.
Huffington Post: My unfortunate replacement will do exactly the same. For once we will show that the press has ‘balls’. We are done being pawns. It’s over!
Fox News: I don’t think I can do this. I don’t mind his questions.
Philadelphia Enquirer: Okay- you can handle all his stuff. Go for it. No problem.
Washington Post: If he has other persons speak, no response to questions asked by them either.
Jewish Post: What do we report? What is the news?
New York Times: Write whatever you’d like. Report what he said. Just the facts – just the facts.
Cable News: I’m all in. I love it!
CNN: A one time thing?
Washington Post: No way. This is through every news conference. We will report what he says, and what others say, and that is it. Think about it and get back to me. Thanks for coming.

Tom Golden, writers cramp, 2020

My Gut Tells Me…

“My gut tells me”, and Michael, the radio commentator, continued to respond to a caller’s question. The caller spoke about the new union of ATT and Warner, and the consequences for citizens and Comcast. Michael initially said that he was not very familiar with the issue but, “My gut tells me,” and Michael gave his opinion.

Let us talk about ‘gutsy’ talk. Michael is not the only person to have ever expressed, ‘my gut tells me’. Everything we think or feel does not have to come from “I think” or “in my heart of hearts”. Sometimes we feel things deeper, or at least more deeply than from the heart. Sometimes we can’t just shut-up.

Back to ‘my gut tells me.’ At a joint meeting of the Chiefs of Staff in the Spring of 1945, President Truman was told about the Atom Bomb. Harry initially expressed his ignorance about uranium and plutonium. He did receive many memos about the technology of the bomb, but he once stated to an aide, is ‘fusion the same as fission, or are they just spelling errors?’ The aide thought that President Truman was just joking, but in fact he was not joking. The President was not at all clear about the technology, use, and consequences of the atom bomb, but one thing for sure. Straight talking Harry knew that his ‘gut’ talked to him, he approved the use of the bombs.

“Mr. Senator, sir would you please tell us your stand on the abortion bill.” asked the reporter.

Senator reflects on the reporter’s question and replies,  “Well to tell you the truth”, (reporter interrupts)

 “Yes Senator, I would like the truth.”

“As I was saying prior to your rather rude interruption, I am not that familiar with the particulars of the actual process of abortion, but I have a feeling that…”
(reporter interrupts again)

“Sir if you are not familiar with abortion how can you vote on the bill. How?”

“Miss, if you would please allow me to finish my statement. I was just going to say that in my heart of hearts, and in my guts, the whole idea sounds pretty disgusting. I mean really ugly. I have feelings, you know. And my guts (many guts) tell me, even without all the particulars it is not right.”


All too often when we are questioned about an issue, and we are not certain of the particulars, we do have a fallback position. That position is often grounded in ignorance followed by ‘my gut tells me’ and then a full-blown exposition rooted in ‘my heart tells me.’

Media Credo…

As a Media Journalist I resolve to not repeat a word that President Trump says. I will state the following: “Today, President Trump said…”. After that announcement I will offer my commentary, but never what “President Trump said…”.

If Covid, Vaccine, Masks, China, Economy, Employment, Immigration, Rioting, Chicago, and Civil War Statues, are spoken about by the President, media professionals are welcome to speak to each topic. But not what the President has said. Not a single reference to his comments.

There is no need to comment on the President’s rambling. It is demeaning when you do so. The habitual repeating of the President’s comments is seemingly unavoidable, but when you do repeat his comments, you typically ridicule his every word. Ridicule his choice of words, syntax, mispronunciation, and constant repetition. You seem to relish in critique. Some of you highlight his ignorance of facts, the lies, inconstancies, lack of focus and self-serving comments. Some repeat the various psychiatric diagnosis that have described the President. Some attempt to explain the political relevance of the President’s comments. Some snicker, and likely long for the next commercial break.

When he contradicts himself, you embrace the opportunity to criticize. Should he offer a bigoted, racist, sexual, or ethnic abuse, you are energized and offer vigorous assaults. The President offers a glowing target. A target that is all bullseye. Impossible to miss the target.

Clearly your jobs as network and cable commentators demand that you offer  content. Perhaps Corporate demands that you reflect on the President’s comments. A job may be on the line. I am certain that you have thoughts about every issue of concern. Each of you is schooled, and well read. Each of you is curious and enthused. Each of you are creative.

The journalistic attempts to cleanse his comments, or to offer insights into the roots of his talk are all failures. Of greater concern is that your sincere reflections do an injustice to your professional standing. The President stirs the pot, and you must avoid tasting the brew. Recently, with the death of Congressman Lewis, you all extolled the Congressman’s courage, and his devotion to truth. Each evening you have the same opportunity with audiences of millions.

Tom Golden, 2020

Lots of Votes…

Donald lost. Biden won.
Donald received more than 70 million votes. Seventy million citizens voted for Donald. That is a lot of voters. How come? How come more than seventy million citizens voted for Donald? Several motives. Some persons were singularly motivated, and others had multiple reasons.

“I voted for Donald because…”

           “I always vote for Republicans.”
           “I never would vote for a Democrat.”
           “I worry about immigrants.”
           “I hate Communists.”
           “No way will I vote for a Socialist.”
           “The President has done a good job.”
           “Biden’s son is a crook.”
           “I don’t like Catholics.”
           “Harris is dumb, and could not be President.”
           “Blacks are welfare leaches.”
           “Who cares about south-east Asia.”
           “I think Morning Joe is a jerk.”
           “Biden has never done anything for 40 years.”
           “I want to keep my Doctor, and my insurance.”
           “The President put it to Europe and China.”
           “Nancy Pelosi is disgusting. A real bitch.”
           “The President cleaned the Washington swamp.”
           “I like a guy who tells it like it is.”
           “Biden is gonna die, and we get Harris. Forget it!”
           “Masks are stupid.”
           AND SOME CITIZENS ARE SIMPLY IGNORANT!!!

White Rules…

In the Blue and Red corner we have Latinos and Asian Americans and in the White corner we have WHITE Americans. In the opinion page of the November 20, 2014, Professor Zoltan L. Hajnal offered, “The democrats immigration problem”. Mr. Hajna’s basic theme was that President Obama’s proposed immigration changes would offer little electoral support for the Democratic party in subsequent elections.  How come? WHITE, WHITE,…. Mr. Hajnal is obsessed with the word WHITE. The United States of America has many WHITES. The United States of America has lots of native born workers, that is WHITE workers. Mr. Hajnal suggests that due to the overwhelming numbers of WHITES in America, Democrats will gain little advantage gathering potential votes from Latinos and Asian Americans. Does that WHITE advantage bode well for Republicans?  That may be an electoral outcome, but of greater significance is that Mr. Hajnal has identified the malignancy that tortures our nation. Mr. Hajnal, a political science professor, offers an analysis of voter dispositions, and in doing so, he highlights the constancy of the racial, and ethnic bigotry that exists as a national low-grade fever that in some unpredictable time frame erupts into febrile convulsions. WHITE used to describe a human is a clinical symptom of cultural illness.  WHITE as a description of a human is not only meaningless, but in fact ignores the actual properties of WHITE. WHITE is a color. WHITE carries every color of the spectrum. WHITE transmits all colors. WHITE is the blending of all colors. Does Hajnal’s WHITE American include all colors? Is that what he means by WHITE? It is time that we rid our descriptive vocabulary of humans as being WHITE, unless by that one means persons of all colors.

Tom Golden, Writer’s Cramp 2015

In Other Words…

When the President says, I can grab or touch a woman’s genital area, he is only saying that he likes women, and he is very playful. He loves the company of pretty women. He marries good looking women. The President is not a pervert. He’s just one of the guys.

When the President says, Mexicans are rapists, he is only saying that some Latin guys are rough on women. He knows that all Mexicans are not rapists. He is not stupid, just a little jealous of Latin sexuality. He likely believes that Stella lusted for Stanley Kowalski in Street Car Named Desire.

When the President describes some nations as “shitholes”, he is only referring to things like excessive poverty, starvation, disease, sanitation. He is not damning the entire population of those countries. It is like saying; “that place is a dump”, or “how could anyone live there?”, or “what a f–kin mess!” Donald is not demeaning the people. Sometimes he exaggerates – big deal!!

When the President says the press offers “fake news”, he only means that too often the press doesn’t tell the whole story, that is biased reporting. When the press reported that George Stephanopoulos was a presidential advisor on foreign matters, Donald would rather the press say: “Georgie spent a lot of time in Brazil pricing coffee for the army.”

 Donald would prefer that the news was not reported at all. For Donald there are many views on any story. Like when someone gets killed by a racist, there is the killer and the victim. There is a story about the killer, and a story about the victim. The killer may be bad, but who knows. The victim may be bad. Donald is very accommodating, and good natured. Just ask him!

We need to listen to the unspoken Donald Trump to know how he really feels. We know that when he says what he may do, he immediately says, and maybe I won’t do what I just said I may do. Sometimes he is only “messin.” No one, not even the President wants to be called a liar. Donald is offended, and rightly so. As I said, Donald is just one of the guys.

Tom Golden, January 2019

I Need Copy…

Monday evening, at about 5pm.  January 26, 2015. Writer’s conference room at CNN.

Staff of seven. Six men and one woman. They sit at a circular conference table. On the table are several carafes of coffee, coffee mugs, Styrofoam cups, coffee mate and a sugar container with real sugar, raw sugar, Splendid, Truvia packets, and a container of Agave. Several large screen TV sets are attached to the walls of the room. The conference room has no windows. Each person has a tablet.

Staff: Director Bill, and writer’s Jason, Harry, Peter, Tom, Rachel, Jacob and Martin.

Bill: Well, we’ve got us a blizzard. Maybe the biggest in 10 years, or more.
Peter: Let’s get started. Don Lemon, and staff are already on station, and they need copy.
Jason: O.K.
Rachel: Do we have the commercial schedule set?
Peter: Yes. I’ve got it. We are set for 4 minutes of live, and 30 seconds of commercial. The alternative is 6 minutes of live and 90 seconds of commercial. Either way all is set.
Bill: Great. Do we have meteorologists on board.
Tom: Yes, Bill. We have three set to come on call.
Rachel: Who are they Tom?
Tom: Professor Harrison Thatcher from Univ. of Conn. And Peter Crowley from the Miami Hurricane Centre in Coral Gables.
Bill: Peter Crowley from where?
Tom: He is the chief Hurricane forecaster at the Miami Center.
Martin: We are talking about a blizzard, not a Caribbean rainstorm!
Jacob: Hurricane, blizzard so what. I have heard predictions of 50 to 60 mile winds with this blizzard
Harry: That sounds like a hurricane to me.
Rachel: In fact, what makes a blizzard, a blizzard..
Peter: Dairy Queen!
Rachel: O.K. wise guy. No I not kidding. It is the strength of the wind, not the amount of snow that defines a blizzard.
Bill: You mean, if we get 26 inches of snow in one storm that is not a blizzard.
Rachel: Right. Just a one monster snow storm.
Jacob: Folks, I just got an email from Don Lemon and he needs copy!
Harry: Send the following. “ The blizzard of 2015 is just starting to arrive and do not fool

yourself. This storm will be massive, and even life threatening. Perhaps where you are sitting there are only flurries, but that is just the calm before the storm.”
Rachel: That’ just 7 seconds. He needs more.
Harry: O.K. Don give this out now. “ Folks in Sunnyside, Queens or Rockville Centre Long Island why don’t you call in to 212-456-6666 and tell us your weather. In fact, any of you who would like to call to be our on-site weatherperson, please call 212-456-666”
Bill: Cut that! Stop that transmission. Stop it now.
Rachel: I’m sorry boss, it went out already. Don thought it was a great idea, and an audience builder. You know 15 seconds of fame for the guy on the street.
Bill: We can’t handle thousands of calls, and you gave the damn switchboard number of CNN. We need that line open for our news reporters.
Marty: The blizzard is the news. What else is happening?
Bill: What the hell are you talking about. The world is falling to shit, and we gonna have every Tom, Dick and Mary complaining about snowplows, and snowman in Staten Island.
Tom: Don is calling. He just slipped on some ice, and he needs cover for at least 5 minutes.
Bill: Rachel run the blizzard of 2006.
Rachel: We don’t have it set. I have the blizzard of 1776. Just foolin. I do have plenty of copy of the major blizzard of 1948.
Bill: Run it now. No wait. Finish the commercial. O.K. run it after Viagra.

I Don’t Know…

By Tom Golden

Man: What do you mean you don’t know?    

Woman: I just don’t know.        

Man: You always say that!       

Woman: Well, it’s true!

Man: What’s true?

Woman: I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Man: Wait a second. You mean you don’t know what’s true, or what are you saying?

Woman: No not at all. It’s that I don’t know. I know somethings but I just don’t know about this.          

Man:  What don’t you know about it? 

Woman: I told you. I just don’t know!!

Man:  Okay, I’m sorry let’s forget it.

Woman: Forget what? That’s just like you.   

Man:  What do you mean?

Woman: You are always ready to dismiss me.          

Man:  That’s not true.      

Woman: Well, you just did!!    

Man:  Why do you say that? Just because I said`forget it’?       

Woman: Yes, that’s right. You always do that.          

Man:  I don’t always do that.     

Woman: Oh, yes you do.

Man:  But I don’t always do anything!

Woman: Sure        

Man:  No, it’s true. I said `forget it’ because I didn’t want to have an argument.        

Woman: I’ve had it! I can’t even tell you I don’t know, without  you getting disgusted and then cutting me off.

Man:  What do you want me to do?    

Woman: Nothing. 

Man: That can’t be true. Tell me just tell me what to do when you say, `I don’t know’.    

Woman: Nothing. Don’t say anything.

Man: You mean that I shouldn’t answer you at all?          

Woman: Yes, that is exactly what I mean.    

Man:  I’ve never done that in my entire life.  

Woman: Done what?      

Man: I have never said nothing when someone told me that they didn’t know something’.

Woman: What do you say?       

Man: Well, sometimes I say `What don’t you know, or how come you don’t know, or why don’t you know?’ Many times I say, `What do you mean you don’t know?’

Woman: And what do they usually say?       

Man:  I don’t know.         

Woman: Don’t be cute.   

Man:  No you know what I mean. They usually say, I don’t know.

Woman: Is that so bad?  

Man:  No.   

Woman: But you looked confused. You looked bewildered.

Man:  Well, it’s just that I’m not sure how to continue after someone says `I don’t know’. If I don’t answer them, then what do I do?

Woman: Nothing!

Man:  Just be silent not say a word?   

Woman: Yes. Then forget it and go on to something else.     

Man:  But earlier I said forget it, and you jumped down my throat.

Woman: I know, but that was because I was angry at you.         

Man:  For what?? Why were you so angry?  

Woman: I was angry because you wanted me to talk about something I didn’t know about. Do you know how difficult it is to talk about something you know nothing about?

Man:  But I was asking about you. I wanted to know your thoughts your feelings.      

Woman: I know what you wanted, but I don’t know me!

Man:  And that’s why you said `I don’t know’?          

Woman: Exactly…I think.                    Fine

Hannibal Lecter Re-Visited..

A fictional character whose evil is unequalled in cinema history. Fictional, but clearly human. Hannibal’s behavior excluding the leather mask, and terrifying laughter is not that bizarre. Clearly with nearly 8 billion, there is at least one if not more clones of Hannibal Lecter. Evil does not require theatrics. Evil is often disguised as simple meanness, ill-will, belittling, insults, and distain. When evil prevails, we feel it – we know it, but still we are inclined to rationalize its existence. Sometimes it is just an uncontrolled emotional outburst, or not meant. “He just tells it like it is”, or “His guts tells him…” Often the evil is discounted as an opinion. “It’s just my opinion, what’s the big deal. I have a right to my opinion”.**

Fortunately, the excesses of Hannibal Lector are rarely suffered by most persons. But when we hear or see evil from a meaningful person, we cannot avoid the punitive consequences. When that person is the President of the United States, we cannot withstand the angst. When evil is a character trait of the most powerful person in the world, we cannot suppress the apprehension and terror.

One might disagree with characterizing the President as evil. One need not share the evil opinion, but the fear generated is too palpable to be denied. Many persons who voted for the President will not admit to their support. The refusal to admit to their support is borne in that same fear that the rest of us feel. Trump supporters freely state that “ I don’t like some of the things he says, “ or “ sometimes he says things that are nasty, but everyone does that.”  They know, as we know that evil is not very nice.

Tom Golden, 2020

**Congress must pass an amendment to the Constitution that disallows opinions. Regardless of the responder, opinions are to be forbidden, if all that is offered is an unadorned opinion.

Bi-Partisan vs. Bi-Sexual…

One is good and one is bad. Well, not bad as in must never do again. Just bad as in not nice, unnatural and try to stop.

Bi-Partisan suggests that one has an open mind. To be Bi-Partisan invites communication, empathy and perhaps even friendship.

A Partisan is seen as stubborn, biased, unforgiving, close-minded and worst of all, WRONG! (explanation is several paragraphs below).

Bi-Sexuals do not carry the burden of political ideology. Bi-Sexuals are singularly focused upon the ideas and actions of a sexual nature. Bi-Sexuals are rarely questioned as to their political opinions. Once a person is identified as Bi-Sexual their political opinions are of no interest. To be announced as Bi-Sexual leaves no room for any other concern other than sexual behavior. Should the Bi-Sexual announce their political views, the conversation immediately turns to the fascinating duality of sexual intimacy.

For most Bi-Partisans, homosexuality is easier to assimilate than is Bi-Sexuality. To be “Bi” anything is disconcerting. We seek consistency, regularity, predictability and recognizable patterns of behavior.  

Considering all that I have written up to this point (please stay with me) and in conclusion, I am in favor of partisan politics. Partisan politics reveals character, viewpoints, personal history, biases, prejudices, and profound commitments. Partisan polemic allows us to realize the meaningless of such phrases as ‘my dear Friend from Georgia’, or my Honorable Senator Doe, or my Dear Colleague on the other side of the aisle. Other side of the aisle is code for ‘other side of the tracks, or wrong side of town, or just *&^>?$#+!@>:+*&@.

Partisan commentary allows us to hear the unvarnished, unadulterated principles that characterize a political figure.  The partisan comments announce the heart-felt biases, and systemic private allegiances of the politician. The truth and nothing but the truth, so help my prejudices. We should welcome the partisan perspective in order to better understand the opponent. We should demand complete partisan expression, since only then can we accurately assess the person, and run for cover, or attack as only a partisan can.

Be wary of the politician who is devoted to bi-partisan rhetoric. Such politicians have an appeal in that they seem to favor progress, and to avoid gridlock. They appear to seek consensus, cooperation, and accommodation. Remarkably such a politician appears to have rid himself of familial history, cultural influences and color perception? Such politicians may say that they have no problem with Bi-Sexuals. When they do, check your calendar, and note how soon is the next election.

What is Forever?

The Congressman said, and the Governors, and Mayors agreed that we cannot stay closed forever. The conference had representatives of both parties, Christians, Jews, Moslems, indigenous types, and several popular colors. Gentleman (no woman present), can we agree that “we cannot stay closed down forever”? With that declaration every hand went sky high. The consensus was heartfelt. The glee was palpable. Their eyes glistened with joy, smiles revealed full sets of white teeth, and their bodies reflected the power of matadors. No way would we to stay closed forever.

But forever. Whoever suggested that the entire nation should be closed down forever. Such a long time. Why forever? Reminds me of when I was arguing with a friend, and we were raising the bet – I would raise the bet to ‘infinity’. That was it. I would hold forth until ‘infinity’. At 9 years of age, infinity was forever, or visa versa. Whoever said ‘infinity’ first was the champion.

If we stayed closed down forever, what would we avoid? What good would closing down forever bring us.

Death. Could we avoid Death? If we closed down forever, wore masks, gloves, washed our hands, cleaned services, stayed 6 feet apart we could live. How long – forever.

Forget it. We are not going to close down forever. That is silly, childish. We will open. We will open now and take our chances. I heard one expert say that only one-tenth of one percent of persons diagnosed with active Covid 19 died. Even if 320 million persons got Covid, only 320 thousand would die. Not bad odds. That’s much less than infinity.

Tom Golden, 2020

Crimes of the Heart

The courtroom was silent. All eyes were focused on the Judge. He looked up from the notes he was writing and glanced at the defendant. Elizabeth tried to avoid his eyes, but she needed to see in them a sign of the verdict to come. She felt a chill, and unconsciously clutched her lawyers’ hand. The judge cleared his throat and announced his decision.

“Will the defendant please rise.” Elizabeth slowly stood up. She was trembling, and tears flooded her eyes.

“Elizabeth Ashley Smythe, I have reviewed the facts in this case, and without any reservation I find you guilty as charged.” Elizabeth could not hold back her tears, and she sobbed pitifully. Her lawyer reached out, and held her close, but he could not relieve her utter despair and shame.

“It is clear that your behavior was without malice aforethought, but nonetheless the damage incurred by the plaintiff, Mr. Politane was brutal and enduring. It is the decision of this court that you be required to return all gifts given to you in good faith by the plaintiff. The includes but not limited to photos, CD’s, albums, tapes, and other mementos of your relationship. In addition, you are hereby ordered to make a public apology to Mr. Politane.  The apology is to be announced in Court on May 12, the anniversary of your initial date. This court is now adjourned.”

 The plaintiff, Mr. Anthony Politane was seated alongside his attorney. Anthony avoided looking at Elizabeth, and despite his feelings of anger, and hurt, he knew that his love would not die easily. Anthony was the first case ever tried in the “Relationship Court”. The entire procedure had been painful and costly, but he had to do it. Anthony could not suffer the abuse of his love without some restitution. He had to see her punished for the hurt she caused him, but still he loved her. He wanted revenge, and the law had finally satisfied that need.

Perhaps other tormented lovers would follow his lead. For one moment they too would have the pleasure of knowing that to love in vain will not go unpunished. No man or woman would ever give of their hearts and soul and be treated with callous indifference. Lovers everywhere would be on notice that the law of the land would punish fickle and thoughtless lovers. The law had finally caught up with those who would “play” with the feelings of others and thereby cause more damage than any theft, property damage or larceny could ever cause. Crimes of the heart would not go unpunished.

Tom Golden, 2008, Writer’s Cramp

Civics 101

Lesson # 1: In Washington, D.C., important men and women tell what they think about America. Some are Republicans and others are Democrats. Some are just alone.
Lesson # 2: Most of the time, the Republicans and the Democrats do not agree on anything.
Lesson # 3: Even though they argue a lot, they say they are good friends.
Lesson # 4: They say they like each other, but they are not allowed to sit next to each other.
Lesson # 5: Sometimes the Democrats and the Republicans like the President, and sometimes they don’t like the President.
Lesson # 6: The Supreme Court Judges don’t really love anyone, and some are going to die.
Lesson # 7: The President cannot be arrested even if he breaks a law.
Lesson # 8: There are three parts to the government. One part is the President. Another part is the Congress, and one more is the Supreme Court.
Lesson #9: The President is very important, almost a boss.
Lesson #10: Republicans and Democrats, and others make the Congress.
Lesson #11: The Congress can tell the President what to do.
Lesson # 12: The President never has to listen if he/she does not want to listen.
Lesson # 13: Sometimes, the Supreme Court can tell the President to listen to the Congress. The President still does not have to listen.
Lesson # 14: This lesson is very, very important. I almost forgot. In America we have a Constitution. It was written many years ago.
Lesson # 15: The Supreme Court knows everything about the Constitution.
Lesson # 16: The Constitution is the most important law in America.
Lesson # 17: If the President, the Congress and the Supreme Court cannot agree about a law, then the answer is in the Constitution.
Lesson # 18: The answer is there, but sometimes not so easy to figure out.
Lesson # 19: The nine Supreme Court Justices can stay until they die.
Lesson # 20:  Not much today. Enjoy your vacation. Try and read a book!