A Complex Killer…

Upon arrest the El Paso killer stated to Police:


  “I killed innocent people. I wanted to kill Mexicans. I am a killer. Don’t forget, I am also mentally ill.”

“Suicide Watch”
Jail Commander: ” Officer Kogan, were you on the suicide watch.”
Officer Kogan: “ Yes Sir.”
Jail Commander: “Kogan, what does that mean?”
Officer Kogan: ” It means that I am to watch a suicide.

Jail Commander: “Thank you, officer Kogan.”

Watching Ain’t Easy

I just finished 16 hours on duty. I was really tired. The Supervisor asked if I could just do half of the next shift. He is a good friend. I said okay. I was assigned the perverts cell. Why always me for extra time? I can’t tell you how boring this job is. Especially the rich guys. They don’t to nothing. Just smile and wait for their attorney visit. What a creep.

I am bushed. Five days in a row of overtime. Sure, the money is great, but hanging out at this place is disgusting. Stinks, garbage everywhere, and those cons are lowlifes. That Jeffrey guy was on a watch, now just look in about every 30 minutes. What a pain. Sometimes I’m a little late in looking. Last time I looked; he was sleeping. Sleeping on the floor. I didn’t say anything. Who cares?

Usually I’m a clerk in the health records room. For the past two days, I got ordered to watch men in the suicide watch section. I have never seen a man toilet. It was not very pleasant. They said I would there for 6 hours. I am now into hour 12. Frankly, I am very tired. I mean exhausted. Didn’t sleep last night, my kid kept me awake all night. She has allergies. Sneezing, and coughing all evening. My husband worked the night shift, so not at home. I think I will just take a little snooze. Just a few minutes. The guy seems quiet.

That guy doesn’t look like he’s gonna kill himself. They told me that he tried to hang himself last week. Well, he made it here. Now I must watch him. I am ready to quit. We haven’t had a pay raise for two years. Other guys have quit. I’m thinking to do the same thing. Pay is for shit, and I don’t give a damn about the prisoners. They could kill themselves for all I care.

How come that guy got off suicide watch. Money. I think he paid off and got off. Where is the other guy in his cell? He was there yesterday. With those sheets, he could hang himself. Better be careful. Thirty minutes checkup. Where is that Observation Check Sheet? How come no Time Checks yesterday, or the day before? Did anyone do any check?

BREAKING NEWS – EPSTEIN FOUND DEAD IN HIS CELL. APPARENT SUICIDE.

Thomas Golden
Writers Cramp, August 12, 2019

Bar Talk

Location: McMurray’ Bar, Brooklyn
Evening: 7:00pm
Harry: Say, Mike, a Miller’s.
Pete: Make that two.
Jack: Say, Mike, have any Rollin Rock?
Mike: Yeh, at home. We don’t sell it.
Jack: O.K. Tequila on the rocks.
Harry: Ain’t we the latin lova.
Pete: You guys heard the Presidents screed.
Jack: His what?
Pete: His screed. Yesterday on the t.v.
Harry: Yeh, I heard him. What’s this screed shit?
Pete: Forget it.
Harry: No, what screed? I did hear the trope.
Jack: What the fuck are you talkin about?
Mike: Say fellas, I saw this fuckin meme last night. Hilarious.
Pete: You mean the one on Fox. I saw it too. Existential as hell – just great.
Jack: Fellas, I gotta get goin. See ya tomorrow. (Swallows the Tequila)