World War III

 

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the Earth. That was good, but the masterpiece was the creation of the coffee bean. Unfortunately, he planted most of the beans in Columbia and Brazil, and we will rue that decision. One of these days, the Colombians and the Brazilians will tire of being treated as third class persons. At that time, they are not going to send anymore coffee to any of the world major powers.

“That’s right. We not going to send anymore coffee – no more coffee – that’s it! We’re no send coffee at 60.00 dollars a case, 600.00 dollars or 6000.00 dollars a case. We no send any coffee. We no know what we do with the coffee, but we no send to any big powers – starting with the United States of America in the North America, Western hemisphere continent.”

“No more gringo – no more. We no give a damn what you pay us. We send nothing. Yeah, maybe you get some on the black-market – big deal. We no send and you are going to be in mucho trouble, because which big power drinks more coffee is gonna be more out of it. That’s when we start the Third World War. The United States Army is not gonna move their ass unless they have their coffee. Trucks ain’t gonna go, fliers ain’t gonna fly, jets won’t take to the sky, missilemen won’t watch their missiles, mommas won’t fuck their husbands, husbands won’t go to work, and children will go crazy because they get really loco parents who didn’t have their cup of coffee in the morning.”

“It’s gonna be all over for the United States of America, north America, because we ain’t sending you no more coffee. Oh, you try some artificial filler-inner, but that ain’t coffee. That ain’t the smell of coffee on the highway. It ain’t a hot cup of coffee on a cold, rainy morning. No more cigarette butts in the old coffee cup in the conference room. No, we no send anymore coffee, and if you don’t like it you better be nice, cause we got the bean.”

I wonder if the Russians drink a lot of coffee. I know the Chinese don’t – they’re hooked on tea. Perhaps that’s the answer to a coffee boycott. Tea and donuts; tea and a buttered roll; two eggs over easy, hashed browns, order of bacon, toast, and a mug of tea! What hath God wrought!!

My Gut Feelings

 

Dear Mr. Robin,

The following comments are in response to your opinion in the February 3rd edition of the Suburbanite.

I have gut feelings.

Somewhere near my spleen.

Like most gut feelings

They don’t equal what I mean.

I have gut feelings

That leave me in despair

For in my job as Editor

I have opinions I must air.

I’m not qualified to speak

Of barracks, wars and gays.

But I try my best to speak

If in rather schizo ways.

I’m trying to ignore my guts

But I can’t stay in my head.

I fear I may be going nuts

Losing readers is what I dread.

If gays fought with Washington

And rights are free to all,

Why then are my intestines

So knotted in a ball?

Oh to be born in ‘60

And not in ‘59

My guts would be less twisty,

My mental life sublime.

 

My Gut Tells Me…

 

“My gut tells me” and then Michael Smerconish, radio commentator, continued to respond to a caller’s question. The caller spoke about the new union of ATT and Warner, and some consequences for citizens and Comcast. Michael initially said that he was not very familiar with the but, “My gut tells me,” and Michael gave his opinion.

Let us talk about ‘gutsy’ talk. Michael is not the only person to have ever expressed, ‘my gut tells me’. Everything we think or feel does not have to come from “I think” or “my heart tells me.” Sometimes we feel things deeper, or at least more deeply than from the heart. Sometimes we can’t just shut-up.
Back to ‘my gut tells me.’ At a joint meeting of the Chiefs of Staff in the Spring of 1945, President Truman was told about the Atom Bomb. Harry initially expressed his ignorance about uranium and plutonium. He did receive many memos about the technology of the bomb, but he once stated to an aide, is ‘fusion the same as fission, or are they just spelling errors?’ The aide thought that President Truman was just joking, but in fact he was not joking. The President was not at all clear about the technology, use, and consequences of the atom bomb, but one thing for sure. Straight talking Harry knew when his ‘gut’ talks to him, and he approved the use of the bombs.

“Mr. Senator, sir would you please tell us your stand on the bill on abortion.” said the reporter.

Senator X reflects on the reporter’s question about abortion. “Well to tell you the truth”, (reporter interrupts)

“Yes Senator, I would like the truth.”
“As I was saying prior to your rather rude interruption, I am not that familiar with the particulars of the actual, real process of abortion, but I have a feeling that..”
(reporter interrupts again)
“Sir if you are not familiar with abortion how can you vote on the issue. How?”

“Miss, if you would please allow me to finish my statement. I was just going to say that in my heart of hearts, and in my guts, the whole idea sounds pretty disgusting. I mean really ugly. I have feelings, you know. And my guts (whole package of guts) tell me, even without all the particulars that it is not right, G-D be praised.

All too often when we are questioned about an issue, and we believe that we should aware of the issue, we have the fallback position of affably expressed ignorance, followed by ‘my gut tells me’ and offer a full-blown exposition rooted in ‘I think’ or ‘my heart tells me.’

 

On Being Presidential

 

Recently newspapers have printed the diagnosis of narcissism as it applies to President Trump. Increasing numbers of psychologists have identified narcissistic characteristics in the President’s behavior. Professional mental health persons fear professional liability, ethical concerns or career damaging responses if they offer an illness label without interviewing the person. Once upon a time we did not have labels for mental illness. There was a time when one could say, if it “walks like a duck, and quakes like a duck, it’s a duck.” So let us look for a “duck, ” and we might find a raving “malignant narcissist.”

During a search, I have found the following clues to our diagnostic mystery. Our President has said:

“I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” “I take out  those ads to wake up the Government…” “Then what does all this…the yacht, the bronze tower, the casinos really mean to you? Props for the show!”  “The show is Trump and it is sold-out performances everywhere.” “I play to people’s fantasies.” “If I put my name on something you know it’s going to be good!”

“I know words, I have the best words!” “I’m rich, therefore I tell the truth.” “But my primary consultant is myself and I have a good instinct for this stuff.” “I know far more about foreign policy” than Obama. “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things.” “I will demand anything I can get.

“When you’re doing business, you take people to the brink of breaking them without having them break, to the maximum point their heads can handle without breaking them”. “Islamic terrorism is eating large portions of the Mideast. They’ve become rich. I’m in competition with them.” “I’m the least racist person that you have ever met…”

“Every successful person has a very large ego. Every successful person? Mother Teresa? Jesus Christ? Far greater egos than you will ever understand.” “When the students poured into Tiananmen Square, the Chinese government almost blew it. Then they were vicious, they were horrible, but they put it down with strength.”
“I will absolutely apologize if I’m ever wrong.” Please do not hold your breath.

Syria – What Can We Do?

 

What can we do about Syria? We can allow an increase in the numbers of Syrian refugees into the United States. In 2016, 12,486 Syrian refugees entered the United States. If all 50 states accepted refugees from Syria, that would be just 250 persons per state. A modest proposal. I would suggest that we increase the state amount to 500 in the year 2017. Increase that to 1000 Syrian refugees per state for every following year. For the fearful, we will investigate each refugee to be certain that we have not allowed “bad guys” into the country. As of this memo, there has not been one case of a Syrian refugee committing a terrorist act in 2017.

With such a civil refugee policy in place, we can sit back and finally feel good.

 

 

The Drone Story

 

The U.S. Naval vessel, Bowditch, was about to recover the drone glider when a Chinese Dalang III class Chinese warship approached within 500 yards of the Bowditch, launched a small vessel and snatched the drone out of the water,

Oh where, oh where has my little Drone gone, oh where can it be? With it’s nose so round, and it’’s tail so short, oh where, oh where can it be? I think it went down, to the bottom of the sea, to see what it could see. And in it’s head, with a lite so bright, I wonder what it could see. I saw it last by a Chinese boat, going round and round, but I can’t see it anymore. It can’t seem to be found. Perhaps the men over there will know. They may have seen it go by. Who knows where it may have decided to go, but we have to give it a try. So I said:” Oh where, oh where has my little drone gone, and they said:

哦,在哪裡哦我的小無人機走了,哦在哪裡可以

Please No More

 

 

The news broadcasters of every stripe are dizzy with breaking news. Presidential news that is characterized as unique, unusual and always “shooting from the hip.” Yes,  the Donald does say one of a kind announcements, such as he can grab any “p—-y that he wants. He could walk down Fifth avenue in New York and shoot someone and no one will be disturbed. Crazy President Obama taps the Donald’s telephone. If not tapping the phone than Crazy Obama spies on  the Donald. If not spying, perhaps President Obama belittles the Donald during Obama dinners. Donald shoots from the hip, and kills all moral, and ethical standards. Would a hip replacement relieve our angst? The Donald is truly a disturbed man. No single diagnosis will suffice, and a psychiatric label is unnecessary. The Donald is a born again Grossingers Hotel master of ceremonies. The Donald is the original tin man. A man who speaks, bada, bee, bada boo talk. That is street talk for Broadway Johnnies. Donald could be the ring master at the Ringling circus, but the circus has closed. The Donald could be the chief barker at the Otsego County Fair in August of 2017. The Donald is without any shame – without any sense of humility. The Donald froze at 12 years of age. How is it possible for any sane commentator to deal with the insanity that the Donald pronounces? As for the citizenry , we are overwhelmed by a national post traumatic stress disorder. We wonder if what we hear from the White House is true, fake, or produced by Russian hackers. We argue with one another and vigorously defend a position, that is rooted in confusion, and emotional longing for truth, fairness and a sense of well-being. We turn on the television, listen for minutes, and then realize that we are submerged in a morass of deceit, or self-aggrandizement. Through it all the Great Barrier Reef is disappearing, Mosel, and Aleppo are no more. Men, women and children throughout the world are starving to death. The glaciers fall into the sea, and cold water Codfish is near extinction.

 

He Went That-a-Way

 

Just last week, the aircraft carrier Vinson, and assorted support vessels made a wrong turn, or perhaps a right turn and was sailing toward the Indian Ocean and not towards North Korea as announced by the President and military staff. At least they could turn around, and threaten North Korea just one week late. Not a big deal. I can imagine a big deal. When the B-52 bombers are deployed to the Korean peninsula, and find their coordinates have them circling over Brisbane, Australia, that could be troublesome. Then if the President decides with the support of his most trusted advisors, that is, daughter Ivanka, son-in-law Jared and Nephew Harold (a poli-science student at Choate Prep. School) to drop several “Don’t Tread on Me” propaganda leaflets the Australians could mistake the event as aggressive. They are even capable of shooting down a B-52 bomber. Should that scenario occur, we could immediately apologize, and re-route the rest of the planes over Taiwan. Drop the rest of the leaflets, and then go to home base in Sri Lanka– Oh we made a mistake. “Captain I meant to say Shreveport” “Captain, not Sri Lanka, go to Louisiana -turn around, turn around immediately.” While turning the plane around the Captain notices the remains of an airplane with Malaysian markings. The Captain decides to take a closer look, and then, and then …. all signals go dead.

 

 

Forget Bi-Partisan

 

I am in favor of partisan politics. Partisan politics reveals character, views, personal history, biases, prejudices, and profound commitments. Partisan polemic allows us to realize the meaningless of such phrases as ‘my dear Friend from Georgia’, or my honorable Senator Doe, or my Dear colleague on the other side of the aisle. Other side of the aisle is code for ‘other side of the tracks, or wrong side of town, or just plain other side.

Partisan commentary allows us to hear the unvarnished, unadulterated principles that characterize a political figure.  The partisan comments announce the heart-felt biases, and systemic private allegiances of the politician. The truth and nothing but the truth, so help my prejudices. We should welcome the partisan perspective in order to better understand the opponent. We should demand complete partisan expression, since only then can we accurately assess the person, and run for cover, or attack as only a partisan can.

Be wary of the politician who is devoted to bi-partisan rhetoric. Such politicians have an appeal in that they seem to favor progress, and to avoid gridlock. They appear to seek cooperation, and accommodation. How did that politician rid himself of spinal character traits, familial history, and color perception? Beware, and never forget  Goldilocks.

All is not lost, in that frequently the Partigiano win. They win even though much heartache was endured. Remember the Alamo!

Please Tell Me Something

Poor Chris Hayes of MSNBC. Chris tried to interview Carter Page, but without success. Years ago, Captain Page was interviewed in a military debriefing:

“Officer Page, what did you see at the airport?”
“ Sir, Yes I did.”
“Officer Page, what was it that you saw during the raid
“ That depends on what is of interest.”
“ Officer Page, can you please explain to us why 15  of your men were killed that night?’
“ Sir, you know that some operations are confidential, and rightfully so.”
“  Officer Page, we understand, but you are our only source of information. Every other man is dead.!”
“  Sir, you are correct. Every man was killed.”
“ And?”
“  I trust that you can appreciate the need for privacy. The event was clearly tragic.”
“   Page, I am asking you straight up. I want a straight answer.”
“  Okay. I understand.”
“  Can I be perfectly honest, Captain?”
“  Of course – certainly.”
“  Were you or were you not at the airport?”
“  The airport?”
“  Yes, Captain. Were you at the airport during the raid?”
“  The airport. Yes, I believe I was at the airport. I think I can say I was there.
“  I take that to mean you were there.  Great! While you were at the airport were you party to the raid?”
“  Sir, I will tell you without hesitation that was no party.”
“  Captain, you know what I mean. This is serious. You clearly cannot respond to simple questions, can you?”
“  That is not true.
“  Alright then. Tell me what happened at the airport during the raid.
“  Sir. You are asking me to tell you information that can be misinterpreted.
“  Captain. I am slowly, but rest assured becoming troubled by your responses.”
“  Sir, I am only trying to offer the best to my recollection.
“  I understand. Captain. As best as you can recall, please tell us what you saw during the raid at the airport.
“  Well, I mean I was at the airport, but not very long. During the raid 15 of my men were killed.”

“  Go on Captain. Go on.
“   What is it that you want me to say?
“   Captain, are you serious? Do you really not understand my questions?
“   Sir, I understand fully, and as I said personal observations and feelings are difficult to  remember after time.
“  Captain, it is less than one year since the raid. I will stop now. You might not believe me, but I am quite sympathetic to your situation. I am pleased you came to testify. It cannot be easy.
“  Sir, you are right about that.”
“   I am right about what?”
“  Sir, I can sure use some sympathy. Every time I talk to people they think I am hiding something. They think I am being uncooperative.”
“  Captain, I must be honest with you. I am not a dentist, nor do I like Dentists, but getting answers from you is like pulling teeth. I refuse to be responsible for you needing dentures. Dismissed.

 

 

 

 

One Part Alice in Wonderland/One Part Wizard of Oz

The recipe for the Trump presidency. No one, I mean not a single reporter, journalist, congressional representative, butcher, baker or candle stick maker can understand the behavior of the Trump administration. How do you respond when the President says: “I know somethings that you may never know”, or “when it comes to the truth I am really, really big on truth,” or “I like surprises, don’t you?”  What is he talking about? How do you converse with a person who talks as in never, never land? If you attempt to decipher what the man is saying, you will be guaranteed that whatever you thought he was talking about will be denied, or modified, or reversed by the President’s next comment.

Media reporters of all orientations struggle to offer a succinct description of what the Trump or his team has done or said, only to find that the subject has no relation to the verb, and the object is always changing. The copy editors try to state what they hear, or see as real – real as in actual, or known fact. They say that they have some facts, but not all the facts. At some point, they believe they do have all the facts, but come to find out that the facts are alternative facts, or on the other hand not exactly what was meant by what the editors saw, or heard and sometimes both.  All the news is presented as a puzzle, not a small puzzle, but a large puzzle. A puzzle with multiple solutions that may be solved by the FBI, or the Justice Department, or an impartial special counsel, or a non-partisan congressional investigation. Many investigators have been tainted by or influenced by someone, or something such that they are disqualified for their bias. Even if not biased, they may have posed naked on Facebook, or they may have written graffiti on the bathroom door of their local Dunkin Donuts, or failed to lift the toilet seat? We are all at risk for public damnation.

Text messages, emails, overheard conversations, visual surveillance all offer information that is immediately characterized as possibly photo shopped, improperly collected, or classified.  We are told that some information was given to Russian intelligence officials. We come to find out that the intelligence officials may not have been intelligent at all (only kidding). Cover-ups, closed doors, investigations controlled by the wrong people, or not by people at all, but by computer data records. We are told there are ways to get at the “truth.” What “truth?” Do we start a criminal investigation, or a counter-intelligence investigation, or just classify everything as ‘just messin.’ We are told that turmoil and chaos are instructive and can generate valuable experience, if we are not bombed to hell.

Why not ask the Pope to do the investigation? A tribunal of the Grand Mufti, Pope Francis, and the Dean of some Jewish Theological Seminary. Could they not gather the truth? Perhaps have our leaders testify in front of their Mothers. No one would swear to tell the truth and then lie in front of their Mother. If they have no Mothers then they must swear on the lives of their first born. If childless, they must swear to kill your first born if they lie under oath. The problem is that in Wonderland, or Oz truth is irrelevant. Who cares in such a world of wonder, magic, dreams and wishes. Where oh where is the nearest rabbit hole???? If birds fly over the rainbow why, oh why can’t I?

Some Good News

 

Hour after hour we are bombarded with news from the White House, Mara Lago, Trump Tower, or leakers. The President will ban all Muslims, some Muslims, bad Muslims. The President will approve slim, oil sands to flow down US pipelines to be shipped overseas. The President will damn Judges, not all Judges just Mexican judges, or Federal Judges, or Appeals Court Judges, or Judge Judy. The President calls for building a wall. The President will repeal, cancel. re-write, or plagiarize Obama Care. The President damns Nordstrom, SNL, CNN, New York Times, and Lauren Bacall, well maybe not her, but certainly Rosie.   And then, by the grace of G-D some good news. BREAKING NEWS! The North Koreans fire a missile into the sea. The Hungarians elect a fascist President. Twelve inches of snow falls in Vermont, stranding two illegal immigrants. Pro-life marchers take over a Planned Parenthood office in Galveston, Texas, and destroy the total supply of birth control pills. Madame.Le Pen wins the far-right nomination in France, and it is the birthday of Madonna. Good news that allow us to turn off the madness. To stop holding our breath awaiting the latest news break or twitter from Mr.Trump. Good news that reminds us there is a world out there, and the wall is not impenetrable.

No Need for Labels

Recently newspapers have printed the diagnosis of narcissism as it applies to President Trump. Increasing numbers of psychologists have identified narcissistic characteristics in the President’s behavior. Professional mental health persons fear professional liability, ethical concerns or career damaging responses if they offer an illness label without interviewing the person. Once upon a time we did not have labels for mental illness. There was a time when one could just declare:  “if it walks like a duck, and quakes like a duck, it’s a duck.” So let us look for a “duck”, and we might find a raving “malignant narcissist.”

During a search, I have found the following clues to our diagnostic mystery. Our President has said: “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” “I take out  those ads to wake up the Government…” “Then what does all this…the yacht, the bronze tower, the casinos really mean to you? Props for the show!”  “The show is Trump and it is sold-out performances everywhere.” “I play to people’s fantasies.” “If I put my name on something you know it’s going to be good!” “I know words, I have the best words!” “I’m rich, therefore I tell the truth.” “But my primary consultant is myself and I have a good instinct for this stuff.” “I know far more about foreign policy” than Obama. “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things.” “I will demand anything I can get. When you’re doing business, you take people to the brink of breaking them without having them break, to the maximum point their heads can handle without breaking them”. “Islamic terrorism is eating large portions of the Mideast. They’ve become rich. I’m in competition with them.” “I’m the least racist person that you have ever met…” “Every successful person has a very large ego. Every successful person? Mother Teresa? Jesus Christ? Far greater egos than you will ever understand.” “When the students poured into Tiananmen Square, the Chinese government almost blew it. Then they were vicious, they were horrible, but they put it down with strength.”
“I will absolutely apologize if I’m ever wrong.” Don’t hold your breath!!

Bowling Green Massacre

I know exactly what Kellyanne Conway, counselor to the President, meant by the Bowling Green Massacre. It did not make recent headlines, but it was top news in November of 1867, just around Thanksgiving. Near Bowling Green Ohio, a group of Seminoles (on their way to Florida), were given some rotten whiskey by a half-breed Apache (also lost and looking for Arizona). Before they left town, the Seminoles along with the Apache killed, but really killed, like massacred an entire flock of turkeys. They meant to gift the turkeys to gringos. Actually, there was some confusion in the reporting since the owner of the turkeys did drop dead upon seeing his entire flock massacred – I mean really killed badly – like a massacre. So, the blond terror of Pennsylvania Ave., was wrong. What else is new?

 

Uncharted Waters

Today, February 9, 2017, Senator Mark Warner of the great state of Virginia stated that, “we are in uncharted waters.” Other political leaders and commentators have said phrases of a similar sort, e.g. “This is a new day,” and “Little seems the same.” and most painful, “It is difficult to know what to do – so many things are changing daily”.

Fellow Americans, the only person in the entire country who is “uncharted” is the President of the United States. The only citizen who can change opinions, desires, attitudes on a “daily”, or “hourly” basis is Donald Trump – Our pathologically disturbed President.

Perhaps, Senator Warner, and his colleagues feel that they are in “uncharted waters.” I feel sorry for them. It must be difficult for them to remember right from wrong, or truth versus lies. Have Senator Warner and ‘friends’ (those in Congress always refer to one another as ‘friend’) lost their moral compass and as such cannot distinguish between ill-will and respect. Have they totally suppressed or deny the teachings of their parents, teachers, church leaders? That Donald Trump resembles a buoy bobbing in the sea is not my fate. That Donald Trump is troubled by demons that deny him guidance and safety, is not my state of mind, nor body. I fear not uncharted waters, not because of some exquisite seamanship, but because of my humanity.