JUST SAY NO!

Flake asks for a delay. A delay of the vote. A limited time delay. A very limited time delay. It is only fair to have a delay in the vote for Brett Kavanaugh. Not only should there be a delay, but the FBI, that is the Federal Bureau of Investigation should investigate the charges. Which charges? The charges that the President tells them to investigate. Who should be investigated about the charges? Ask the President. How long should be the delay? Ask the President or ask Senator McConnell. Senator McConnell knows how long the delay should be. Sen. Flake just wants a delay. A reasonable delay, with a reasonable FBI investigation. Everyone is very reasonable – almost congenial – or as the President would say, almost conjugal.

Conversation in the Senate building hallway. The woman, Harriet is from Ellenville, New York, and the man, Paul is from Lake Forest, Illinois.

Harriet: Say Paul, is there any official that has the strength of character – so they say no time constraints. Who can say all persons demanding a voice will be heard.
Paul: How many persons?
Harriet: Who knows?
Paul: But if the number is large, what do they do?
Harriet: They extend the ‘delay’.
Paul: But how long will the ‘delay’ be – how long?
Harriet: We shall see.
Paul: You say, “Who knows?” “We shall see”. Nothing is clear. No limit on time for the investigation, or the number of persons testifying, or the relevance of their testimony. We cannot run a government with such indecision. The nation needs a new Justice. They have a decision that must be made. It’s helpful to have time constraints, and witness limits.
Harriet: Okay, I grant you that there must be some order to the investigation. The President, Senator McConnell and Schumer should meet and agree about the focus of the investigation, the issue of time, and the number of witnesses.
Paul: They can’t do that.
Harriet: Why not?
Paul: It’s the Presidents job. The President is the commander of the Justice Department. The FBI is part of the Justice Department. The President has the constitutional authority to order an investigation by the FBI, and every part of the investigation.
Harriet: So?
Paul: Well, that means the President can decide exactly what the FBI staff can do, and not do.
Harriet: That’s not right. Are you certain about the President and the FBI?
Paul: Yes. Absolutely certain. What’s more, you and I cannot know what instructions the President has given the FBI.
Harriet: You’re kidding. You can’t be serious. This is America.
Paul: Harriet, I’m not kidding. Furthermore, when the report is written, only the Senators, and some aides can read the report.
Harriet: No way!
Paul: One thing more. Only one copy – do you hear me. Just one copy will be made available to the Senators and aides. The copy is read in a secured room. Each Senator will have a fixed time to read the copy of the report.
Harriet: Why one copy? I mean this is getting dumb. Why are the aides in the room? Who the hell are the aides? Do the Senators need aides to read a report? This is unbelievable. Really, I can’t believe what you are saying.
Paul: Well, get this. When the Senators have read the report, they and their aides cannot say anything about the content of the report.
Harriet: Nothing?
Paul: Absolutely nothing.
Harriet: Forever?
Paul: Who knows. Maybe after the nomination is over, or after the election in November.
Harriet: Leaks. What about leaks?
Paul: Let’s hope so.
Harriet: Is there anything a Senator can do?
Paul: Of course.
Harriet: What?
Paul: Senators can just say NO! No to every demand. No to the time delay. No to the limit on charges. No to the limit on witnesses. And if the no is ignored – don’t participate for one more moment. Don’t attend any sessions. Do not vote on any issue. Do not engage in what you know is a sham – a political maneuver to suggest legitimacy. Just say no, and act on that no. Do not even read the FBI report.
Harriet: Well decisions will be made without them.
Paul: That’s true.
Harriet: But what good is that?
Paul: You asked what good is it that they say no?
Harriet: Yes, I do not understand.
Paul: Harriet, sometimes you say no, and NO is as good as it gets!

The End
Tom Golden, 2018

Just Seven Days

Flake did his maneuver today. Saved his various reputations as anti-trump, decent conservative, and looking for work. Poor Flake gets cornered by several distraught women. They announce their torment, and painful assaulted history. Startled, good ole Flake says: “O.K. 7 days – not one minute more. Let the FBI go at it. Let’s get a complete investigation by the FBI. That is fair, and justice will be served – Amen!!!” Seven days – just seven days. Not bad. God did a lot in seven days.

All hands-on deck. FBI agents from all over the country will be called to the 7-day investigation. Clean the polygraph machines. Sharpen the pencils. Cancel all leaves. Retake any oaths that they have taken. We must be certain that there are no bad apples in the FBI as in the case McCabe.

One problem – more than one. Who are we to investigate? Can we subpoena any persons? Can we demand that they be investigated? There are no criminal charges. Must the persons speak to the FBI, or is it voluntary? And most important where are they right now?

A preliminary investigation just completed today, September 28, 2018 revealed the following about the potential witnesses.
Christine Blasey Ford – Someplace with her family. Address unknown. Perhaps FBI knows.
Russell Ford – Husband of Christine. Likely with her. Works every day, and not certain if he can miss much work time.
Keith Koegler – Children’s coach. Last known to be in France attending the Ryder Cup.
Rebecca White – Christine’ neighbor, when Christine lived nearby. Now not a neighbor.
Leland Keyser – Dear friend of Christine. Important witness. Recently had extensive oral surgery, and has difficulty speaking. May improve over the next week or so.
Brett Kavanaugh – Currently involved in daily, intensive psychotherapy. Senate sessions were traumatizing. Not certain if he can withstand more questioning. Spending a lot of time in prayer.
PJ Smyth: At function. Currently thought to be skiing in Utah. Last great summer skiing.
Adela Gildo-Mazzon: Friend to Christine. Will possible speak to FBI, but only if her Mother is present. Adela’s mother is currently in a senior citizens home with late state dementia.
Deborah Ramirez: Additional person charging Brett with sexual assault, drinking. Likely to testify, but only to female FBI agent. Preferably an agent who has suffered sexual assault.
Julie Swetnick: Claimed assault by Brett on Washington street. Currently on a cruise to Cancun. Has said that she will ask Captain to turn back and let her off at Guantanamo Base. Likely available and can’t wait to testify.

The FBI has got their work cut out for them. But as they say: “A stitch in time saves nine.” (Benjamin Franklin, 1789)

Tom Golden, 2018

Mid-Year Resolutions 2018

I will not scream at the television any more. I will not bother my son with my rants. I do find some solace in writing, and in tending to my geraniums. At 16 he touched her vagina, and breasts. At 18, he displayed his penis, and wanted it to be kissed. What else is new? FBI investigators have some manners when questioning a young woman, or a Federal Judge. Once in a while, they might go over the edge.

FBI Investigator: “Your Honor, did you ever dry hump a 14 year old, and fondle her vagina, or touch her breasts. One more thing, your Honor, did you ever ask a Yale classmate to kiss your penis.”

Leave the poor guy alone. Brett is clearly over his head. But, to disdain a persons’ outcry about abuse, any abuse, and to then suggest the cry is born with political roots, or reflective of memory dysfunction is depraved. To offer such a position evidences a total lack of empathy, moral or ethical principles.

One Side of a Story

Does every story have more than one side? Can there be a story with only one side? Soon, you and I are likely to hear a story with only one side.
Dr. Ford will tell her story about the alleged assault when she was 15 years of age. Dr. Ford is asked that she tell her “side of the story.” We can assume that Dr. Ford will detail “her story.” After Dr. Ford tells her story, Brett Kavanaugh will tell his “side of the story.” Therein lies the problem. There appears to be only one side of the story. Brett Kavanaugh has repeatedly stated that he has no side of a story. Brett Kavanaugh does not have any story to tell. Brett Kavanaugh says there is no story. Brett Kavanaugh denies that an event of any sort has ever occurred – never, not ever. On the day of testimony, we will hear one story, that told by Dr. Ford. Brett Kavanaugh will have nothing to say since the event never occurred. We will have to live with just one story – the Dr. Ford Story. We would not demand of Brett Kavanaugh that he invent a story. Perhaps he could develop a story of how come he has no story to tell. That would be an interesting exercise. Follow me….

Senate Judiciary Room, Washington, D.C. – September 27, 2018.
Sen. Hatch: Judge Kavanaugh could you please tell us how come you have no story to tell?
Judge Kavanaugh: What is it that you would like me to do? I am unclear about your request.
Sen. Hatch: Oh, I’m sorry, I was…. (interrupted by Sen. Grassley)
Sen. Grassley: Please allow me to clarify what Sen. Hatch is requesting.
Judge Kavanaugh: Fine, thank you.
Sen. Grassley: Judge, please tell the panel just exactly why you have no story to tell.
Judge Kavanaugh: Certainly, Senator. I was thinking that I should be able to explain why I have no story. Since Dr. Ford has told her story, I should be able to tell a side of a story.
Sen. Hatch: Great. Now we are getting somewhere.
Judge Kavanaugh: To the best of my recollection, I have absolutely no recollection of anything, or any person that Dr. Ford identifies. Particularly Dr. Ford. I do not know her at all.
Sen. Grassley: So, is that the reason why you have no story to tell?
Judge Kavanaugh: Exactly. I mean, I could make up a story of how come I have no story to tell, but that would be difficult – rather unique.
Sen. Hatch: No, I do not want you to make up any story, even if the story is about why you have no story to tell.
Sen. Leahy: Sen. Grassley, I must have a moment, please.
Sen. Grassley: Certainly, Sen. Leahy.
Sen. Leahy: I am listening very intently, and at this moment I am feeling sick to my stomach.
Sen. Booker: Me too!
Sen. Harris: Mr. Kavanaugh, could you please tell exactly what you know.
Sen. Grassley: Sen. Harris, you were not recognized.
Sen. Harris: Perhaps not by you, but by the millions watching on television.
Sen. Grassley: Senator, please respect the chair.
Sen. Durbin: She does respect the chair. It is the finest that Ethan Allan can manufacture.
Sen. Hatch: Not funny. Everyone, please calm down. Let us continue with Judge Kavanaugh.
Sen. Leahy: The Judge is done. He has nothing to say. He cannot speak to an event that never occurred. That is, it!!
Sen. Harris: All we have is the testimony of Dr. Ford. She swears that the events occurred. Brett Kavanaugh has nothing to offer.
With that Sen. Grassley bangs the gavel and calls a recess…… and at that moment, both Dr. Ford and Brett Kavanaugh cry out, “tell us your decision. Tell us now!!!”
Sen. Hatch: Calls the Sergeant at Arms to clear the room.
Sen. Grassley: Hatch, I will call the Sergeant. I am chairman – not you.
Sen. Hatch: Whatever!!!

(Tom Golden, 2018)

The Martians

The meeting was called for “time”. Unlike on Earth, time and date are not concepts that control Martian behavior. The Elders and the Youngers were gathered at the “place”. Similarly, to time and date, location is a notion that needs no specificity. All Elders and Youngers are aware of all that matters.
Elder 1: We are faced with a situation that no longer allows for delay. There is no room for unnecessary deliberation or frankly any discussion.
Younger 1: I understand completely.
Elder 1: You do?
Younger 2: Yes. The situation has been a long time in coming.
Elder 2: We are all in total agreement.
Elder 1: The specifics are not yet formulated.
Younger 3: What specifics?
Elder 1: We must determine the nature of our commitment.
Younger 3: Do we have any choice?
Elder 4: Yes, consideration of the potential harm, we must be absolutely clear as to what we are to do.
Elder 1: I for one request a unanimous agreement among all of you.
Younger 4: You certainly have my vote.
Elder 2: Me too.
Younger 3: I am also in total agreement, but I have one question.
Elder 1: Speak.
Younger 3: If we go ahead with the complete plan, do we have a fallback position.
Elder: 3: What are you talking about. What fallback position?
Younger 3: If we are not successful in the mission. What do we do?
Elder 1: There will only be success if we act now. Right now!
All the Elders and Youngers shout agreement.
Elder 1: Now we will have Elder 2 read out plan.
Elder 2: Yes sir! Proclamation of the Elders and Youngers: On this day and at this time and location, We The Elders and The Youngers have authorized the total invasion of the Planet Earth. The invasion will involve the complete array of our interplanetary forces. We are obliged to take this extraordinary action as we can no longer delay the total conquest of the Planet Earth. Our latest intelligence has confirmed that activity on the Planet Earth has reached such intolerable conditions, and the threat of such activity to our well-being is undeniable.

The Earthlings interplanetary capacity is advanced as evidenced by their popular, though somewhat unrealistic film, The Martian. For many years we have witnessed the total dissolution of peace and tranquility on Planet Earth. There is no area on that planet that is not in constant warfare, pestilence, poverty, and total disregard for life. They have destroyed their land, sea, and air. We are not absolutely certain of their plans for planetary exploration, but we will not allow our planet to be infested by their ethics, morals, scientific ignorance, economic systems, and most of all their dangerous religious proclivities. We have evolved to a level of sophistication that we will not allow to be jeopardized by a species that has not evolved in thousands of years. In fact, their planet has regressed to a point of no return. For many eons we have tried to communicate to the Planet Earth, but they have steadfastly refused to believe in life beyond their simplistic universe. All attempts at contact with Planet Earth are terminated. This proclamation is made in good fellowship and good will. We will prevail!

HELLO

The Vice President was focused upon the hockey game. The North Korean representative was seated just behind the Vice President. The scene was as cold as the ice.

I had no idea that my sister could skate. Not only was she skating, but on ice, and dancing to music. Michelle was taking dance lessons for several years. She hated going to class, but hating to go was no excuse for my Mother. Both Michelle and I would express our “hate”, “do I have to,” and “I have a headache” in a forlorn attempt to cancel the next piano, dance, or karate lesson. “You wanted to have the lessons, and we paid for them. At least finish the year”, she said. I was just three weeks into the karate school.

Michelle did a leap on the ice, and she landed into a full split. The audience went wild. Everyone cheered. Everyone except for my Father. My Father starred at the ice rink, with Michelle in a full split, and he showed no emotion. He just sat and starred straight ahead. His head held fast, as if in a neck brace. I turned to look at my Mother, and she seemed to only see her history, and not Michelle.

I forgot to mention, that when we arrived at the skating rink, our seats were reserved for parents of the contestants. In our row G7, sat my Father, my Stepmother, and me. Also in row G7 sat my Mother, and her husband, Bert. My Father sat in Seat 16, and my Mother sat in Seat 15 – just to the left of my Father. I sat in Seat 17, just to the right of my Father.

The exhibition ended and we all left. As with hello, no goodbye.

Tom Golden, February, 2018

 

The Importance of Furniture

The President of North Korea, Kim Jong Un has a nuclear launch button on his desk. The President of the United States, Donald Trump says that everything is on the table.  Does that include a nuclear launch button? Whether it is a desk or a table, clearly a piece of furniture is central to issues of world survival.

If Kim Jong Un’s desk resembles mine in any fashion, Mr. Kim may not find the button so readily. As for the Donald, he claims to have “everything on the table.”  We have been told that a military attaché carries the nuclear controls in a case, close at hand to the President. Let’s assume that the case is placed on the table along with “everything” else. “Everything” else is a series of possible diplomatic agreements – nothing physical, as is a button.

Kim Jong Un has his button on a desk, and Donald has his control case on the table.  Aside from the clutter on Kim’s desk, in a showdown, the launch button may be reached, prior to Donald’s opening the launch control case and pressing the button. North Korea one, United States zero!!

“Kim, Kim he’s our man, if Kim can’t do it nobody can!”

Thomas Golden, Writer’s Cramp, 2018

Las Vegas Killer Motive

1.Hated country and western music, singers, and patrons of such music.

  1. Hated any people attending events in Las Vegas.
    3. Angry at money losses at Vegas casinos.
    4. Suffered undiagnosed brain tumor.
    5. Bought weapons to kill, and needed to try them out.
    6. Wanted the fame that such a massacre would provide.
    7. We may never know. Not ever!!!!!

My readers: What do you think???

 

A Presidential Plea

December 15, 2017

Dear Mr. President,
I trust that you and your family are well. I have delayed writing this letter, but I fear that I may have waited too long. We understand that your nation’s military is the most powerful in the world.  We are grateful that you have protected our interests for many years since the armistice. About North Korea, you have repeatedly stated that “all options are on the table”.

I understand your need to demonstrate that the United States will not be threatened by any nation. I truly appreciate your need to protect your land and your people. As president of South Korea, I am also responsible for the welfare of my people.

I implore you to resist any military option in response to North Korea. I hope that you understand that regardless of what you, or North Korea do, my people are doomed. We will be the first and major casualties of any combat.

Mr. President, I trust that you understand that the peoples of North and South Korea are basically all Korean. We all speak Korean. Many of us have family and friends on both sides of the demilitarized zone. I have never told you, but my favorite aunt and uncle live in Pyongyang. My half-brother is an air force pilot, and the god-father of my daughter. He teaches Sunday school in Nampo.

Forget about my family, and please imagine the death and wounded toll that we will suffer should war befall the Korean peninsula. I am not a pacifist, but as Mr. John Lennon has said, ‘give peace a chance.”

Sincerely yours,

Moon Jae-in
President of the Republic of South Korea

Words Are Not So Easy

Grandson: Papa, I like democracy. Do you like democracy?
Grandpa: Of course I do.
Grandson: Is that like Democratic.
Grandpa: Why do you ask?
Grandson: My friend told me that Democratic was bad. He said that Republican was good.
Grandpa: Well, son, democracy is really good. Democratic is not exactly the same.
Grandson:  But they sound almost the same. Grandpa, is it good to be right?
Grandpa:  Yes. I guess so. Why do you ask?
Grandson: My friend told me that the left is really very good, and the right is not.
Grandpa: Well words are not so easy.
Grandson: I know that I’m going to be democratic, and I want to be right.
Grandpa: Sounds good son – just fine.
Grandson: I love you Grandpa.
Grandpa: I love you too.

IMMIGRANTS

 

And the Bible says…

Matthew 25:35 – For I was hungry, and you gave me food, I was thirsty, and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.

Galatians 5:14 – For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Exodus 12:49 – There shall be one law for the native and for the stranger who sojourns among you.”

Leviticus 19:34 – You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you  as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord Your God.

 

“You’ll Know – You’ll See”

President Trump is inclined to hint at his future actions. Trump will tell us that he has very important plans, and joyfully offers little clarity, other than the phrase: “the calm before the storm.” When asked what he means by that phrase, he will say, “you will know.” That lack of clarity, yet foreboding causes some minimal concern in Kingston New York, Bangor, Maine and Des Moines, Iowa. But the concern is much more provocative in….

North Korea: “Considering that the President of the United States has announced that a storm is coming, we have put our armed forces on 24-hour alert.”

Paris, France: “The Prime Minister, has ordered that all French ships near Iranian waters are to immediately return to the nearest French Ports.”

Ottawa, Canada: The Defense Minister declared: “We have learned that the President of the United States has declared that he will be making a decision that sounds rather ominous. In that light, we will be closing the Peace Bridge at 1400 hours on Sunday to all traffic entering from the United States.”

Teheran, Iran: “We have every reason to believe that the President of the United States intends to cancel the Iranian Treaty. As such we will immediately initiate the rehabilitation of all equipment that is needed for our nuclear production.”

Caracas, Venezuela: “Citizens of Venezuela, we have long feared that the United States is prepared to invade our territorial waters. President Trump has stated that a “storm” is coming. In the light of his threatening comments about our nation, we are ordering our Navy to intercept any naval vessel of the United States that enters our waters.”

Secretary General of the United Nations: “I have informed the members of the Security Council that we will meet tomorrows morning to discuss the implications of President’s Trumps announcement that portends some harmful international event is likely to occur. We have absolutely no idea as to the meaning of “calm before the storm”, but I have no other choice but to require an immediate gathering.”

Tom Golden, 2017, writers cramp

 

The BASE

The President has his Base. I also have a Base. In fact, I have two Bases’. One Base is Chicken, and the other is a Beef Base.  Each Base is totally reliable, and constant in performance. The ingredients in each Base are almost identical, except for the chicken content in one Base, and beef content in the other.

All politicians have a Base. The President’s Base is notably reliable, and remarkably constant in the results. The President can comfortably use his Base and count on the success of the basic ingredients. The basic ingredients of bigoty, fear, economic need, xenophobia, intolerance, hysteria, idolatry, and ignorance. To that Base, The President mixes lies, arrogance, impulsiveness, incoherence, adolescent sexuality, and fragility. The President’s Base is quite powerful, and can be used in varied situations, and to satisfy many tastes.  Hail to the Chief, I mean Chef as we eat our way to nauseum.

Tom Golden, Ph.D. writers cramp,2017

The LIE Word

Senator Corker from Tennessee stated that in his home, his family never used the LIE word. Currently, the Senator is in a newsworthy conflict with President Trump. Senator Corker has said that the President, “tells untruths.” “Untruths” may be difficult to say without an outburst of laughter, but it eliminates screaming, “liar, liar, liar!” The President said a “untruth.” Not only an “untruth”, but a “provable untruth”. Senator Corker may be unleashing a needed reform in our culture. The rebirth of manners and specifically mannered control over our communication.

What words were, forbidden, or at least avoided in your home. Let’s start with the “H” word, or at perhaps the “S” word. In some homes the list might include the “F” word,

Now as to our careful avoidance of forbidden words. I was told not to say the “H” word as in HATE, like, “I hate you.” I would instead say, “I hope you die” (but under my breath), followed by a quick “Oh, God, please don’t let my Mother die” (also under my breath). I believe that children express much of their feelings under their breath.

The “S” word as in STUPID -What is so wrong in calling your sister stupid? Many times, my sister, and my brother were stupid. Why punish me, when they were so stupid? I avoided stupid, by simple saying: “Wrong!” or “You’re such a jerk.”

And now for the biggy: “FUCK” as in “Fuck you!” Never, no never say that in one’s home. If by chance it slipped, then comes the soap mouth washing. The notion that cleansing a mouth with soap could suppress such intense feelings was at best a temporary suppression. You might say “Fuck You”, but to the air. That is with no eye contact to anyone. You might hear, “What did you say?” You then say “Nothing – nothing.” That usually works.

When and if children use forbidden words, the origins are usually attributed to the child’s playmates, or classmates. “Frank, I don’t want you to talk like your friend Michael. I have told you many times that Michael’s parents are hardly ever home, and he has sitters teach a lot of things that are not right. I hope that you understand. Do you?” Frank nods approval, and immediately returns to Mario on his computer.

 

Tom Golden, writer’s cramp, 2017

 

Not a Photo-OP

We are here at the San Juan airport, and await the landing of Air Force One with the President, and the first lady, Melanie. My first reporting assignment, and I can’t tell you how excited I am. This is the first visit of the President to our island. Porto Rico is devastated, and we are looking forward to the President’s visit. Our hope that his stay is not just a photo opportunity, and just another opportunity to gain personal favor with his base. The advance notice suggested that we would all be surprised by the President’s visit.

The plane is just landing. I am trying to get close to the tarmac, but the Black Water security personnel are refusing to allow us to move any closer.  I must tell you, those men look serious, and somewhat mean. I just heard one of them speak to a colleague, and they spoke in German. Another guard was holding a AK 14, and softly singing in Hebrew. Interesting international group of personnel.

The doors of the plane have just opened. Several assistants have exited, and now the President is standing in the doorway, and climbing down the stairs. It is hard to see him clearly, since several aides and guards are standing in my sight line. It appears that the President is wearing what looks like a hard hat. Yes, it is a hard hat. His typical baseball cap seems to be underneath the hard hat.

I am about 30 feet from the President, and I now can clearly see him. He appears to be wearing combat fatigues, and black boots. Around his waist is what looks to be the typical carpenters belt – full of tools. I can see a claw hammer, several chisels and a large tape measure hanging on the right side. He just turned around to answer a MSNBC reporter, and he is carrying a back pack. I can see at the top of the pack what looks like a reciprocal saw, or at least some type of saw. The sight of the President is remarkable. He looks like a walking Tractor Supply. Draped over his right shoulder is a coil of heavy duty rope, with large hooks on each end.  Just beside the rope is a holster with a hatchet. In his left hand he is holding a crow bar that looks to be at least 4 foot long.

I just noticed that the first lady, Melanie Trump has exited the plane and she is also wearing a hard hat. It seems to have a decal of the football Patriots on the side. Holy cow, she too is dressed in a workman suit, but in black with gold trim. She is carrying… I can’t believe it, but I was just told that she is carrying the Jaws of Death machine. The machine that helps cut through steel, or concrete. It is clearly heavy, and a guard with a very heavy Italian accent offered to help her with the equipment, but she has refused.

The President and the First Lady are entering an armored personnel carrier. They have just speeded away. No questions have been asked of the President. Clearly, this was not the typical photo op. It appears that the President is here to do something. What, who knows, but hopefully he and his wife will not hurt themselves.

Tom Golden, writers cramp, September 2017.