Mid-Year Resolutions 2018

I will not scream at the television any more. I will not bother my son with my rants. I do find some solace in writing, and in tending to my geraniums. At 16 he touched her vagina, and breasts. At 18, he displayed his penis, and wanted it to be kissed. What else is new? FBI investigators have some manners when questioning a young woman, or a Federal Judge. Once in a while, they might go over the edge.

FBI Investigator: “Your Honor, did you ever dry hump a 14 year old, and fondle her vagina, or touch her breasts. One more thing, your Honor, did you ever ask a Yale classmate to kiss your penis.”

Leave the poor guy alone. Brett is clearly over his head. But, to disdain a persons’ outcry about abuse, any abuse, and to then suggest the cry is born with political roots, or reflective of memory dysfunction is depraved. To offer such a position evidences a total lack of empathy, moral or ethical principles.

Follow the Leader

Roy Moore, the likely new senator from Alabama has a very loyal following. Perhaps as many as 30 percent of the citizens of Alabama. That probably equals about 67 voters – they are loyal. The reasons they hold firm in their support of Mr. Moore, are varied, but the most likely reasons are the following: Mr. Moore believes that homosexual behavior is illegal, and so do his followers. Mr. Moore believes in man/woman marriage, and so do his followers. Mr. Moore believes in the right to carry arms, and so do his followers. Mr. Moore believes in preserving the Civil War statues, and so do his followers, and Mr. Moore believes that a ten commandments sculpture should stand on the state capital grounds, and so do his followers. Mr. Moore is a down home, god fearing, family man, and he was fairly granted the Republican candidacy. And one more thing. Mr. Moore is a Republican. Mr. Moore is not a Democrat. The distinction is not only a label. For many the distinction is as profound as that between gay and straight, or Black and White, No and Yes, or a 31-year-old pervert and a 14-year-old cheer leader.

Human Sexuality

 

Affection – a little goes a long way.

Adolescent sexual behavior – they never knew what hit them.

Age and potency – the best soup in the old pot.

Alcohol affects – from excitement to sleep.

Androgens – not from outer space.

Anxiety – it can be deadly.

Aphrodisiacs – always the short one.

Arousal – you gotta get up.

Birth – the beginning.

Bisexuality – unusual, but true.

Breast – is that singular or plural?

Castration – anxiety or not, it hurts.

Censorship – G, PG, R, X, or XX, or XXX, or Fourex.

Circumcision – you can’t tell a book by its cover.

Clitoris – the equalizer.

Coitus – intercourse by any other name.

Contraception – but it’s not the same.

Depression – Pre. – Post and during.

Dildos – the age of technology.

Dreams – the best sex of all.

Drugs – uppers and downers.

Ejaculation – pre-mature – God forbid!

Erections – but not by Gilbert.

Erogenous zones – no standing/no parking.

Estrogens – both girls and boys.

Exhibitions – Coney Island on a Sunday afternoon.

Extramarital sex – it’s like extra cheese on a pizza.

Fantasy – no, no you can’t take that away from me.

Frigidity – it’s all your fault.

Fetishism – keep it private or you’re in trouble.

Foreplay – enough already.

Genitals – they are good, but they are not everything.

Gonorrhea – a birth control.

Homosexuality – live and let live.

Impotence – it shouldn’t happen to a dog.

Infantile sexuality – it doesn’t cause retardation.

Kissing – never underestimate its power.

Libido – if you run short, can you buy it?

Love – a grave metal disease (PLATO).

Marriage – to love, cherish and to obey.

Masturbation – a blessing or a curse.

Menopause – facts and fictions.

Morality – does it have any place in sex?

Nocturnal emissions – who does the laundry?

Obesity – searching for a definition.

Oedipal conflict – a Freudian nightmare.

Orgasm – Nirvana or bust.

Ovaries – one of the parts.

Penis – what’s wrong with the word pecker?

Petting – man’s best friend.

Polygamy – Salt Lake City, here I come!

Pornography – the pen is mightier than the sword.

Prostitution – red light – green light – who cares?

Puberty – the beginning of the end.

Pubic hair – sign of things to come.

Religion and sex – Sodom and Rasputin.

Self-esteem – please be kind.

Sex education – at home, in school, or in the street.